Visiting Anna Rose for fetishclinic.com

Recently I had the absolute pleasure of visiting Anna Rose at her dungeon to film some clips for FetishClinic.com. To my delight, I had discovered she lived only a few hours’ drive from me and I immediately reached out to her to inquire about her dungeon. After a few weeks of friendly chats, we scheduled a weekend and I crossed the border to go see her.

I arrived at her house, and was warmly welcomed by Anna. Once I had loaded my gear into the house, we poured a drink and chatted for a bit on her deck overlooking the ocean. The view was spectacular and the weather was perfect (a rarity in our part of the world for May).

Once we had finished our drinks, she led me downstairs to the dungeon. I knew even as I walked down the stairs that this was going to be something special. The smell of latex that filled my nostrils as I entered the main area invoked feelings of intense pleasure and anticipation. I then found myself surrounded by the most amazing bondage and fetish gear I have ever seen. My eyes could barely process what I was seeing as I took in the many, many rubber and steel contraptions, equipment, masks, restraints, gags, tubes, hoses, rubber clothes and all manner of kinky apparatus. This must be what Heaven looks like for a rubber and bondage fetishist, I thought. Checking to make sure I hadn’t died and gone to the perverted afterlife, I was shown a secondary room with even more equipment, including the bed I would be sleeping in for the next two nights. Imagine that - sleeping surrounded by the most amazing kink equipment you have ever seen, breathing in the sweet ambrosia of rubber, staring at the device you would be put into the next day for some rubber torment.

We eventually went back upstairs to drink some wine. We went to bed feeling no pain.

The next morning I woke up in the dungeon, at first wondering if I was dreaming, but then remembering the reason I was there. My cock grew in my cage and I got up to have a shower and say good morning. After some coffee and a discussion on what she had planned, I started to get dressed in my gimp gear and she got ready as well.

I must say a huge thanks to @tinyhandstacoma (Twitter) for filming. He did a great job and all of the screen caps that follow are taken from his footage. 

When it was time to film, I sat down in a Style Fetish bondage chair wearing my steel ball mitts and Punitive Shoes pony boots. Anna locked my ankles and wrists to the frame and cinched me back using three seat belt restraints. My thighs were similarly strapped down. I was not going anywhere.

She strapped a steel tongue depressor bit gag deep into my mouth and immediately drool started to flow. Added to the pre-cum already dripping from my chastity cage, my saliva made a bit of a mess. Gimps can be that way.

She unzipped my nipples and teased them for a few minutes, striking them with her crop before clamping them with the clover clamps I had modified for extra bite. She expressed a small amount of shock at how tight they were. Not every day can you impress someone like Anna Rose! Taking a rubber cock that would eventually be used again in a similar fashion, she pushed it into my mouth over the steel bit and slowly fucked my mouth.

She had earlier stuffed my ass with another rubber cock attached to a fuck machine that came up from below. Taking the controller, she activated it and stood back as the device penetrated me relentlessly. 

After she had some fun with my predicament, it was time to change things up. She removed my chastity cage and replaced the steel bit gag with a Hot Steel Toys deep throat pony gag. This absolutely ingenious and diabolical device keeps a rubber dildo sitting just beyond the point where one starts to gag, and can be slid further into the throat using straps on either side. Effective, brutal, incredible. 

Taking a Hitachi, she vibed my cock, teasing me mercilessly while tugging on my nipple clamps. But this was just the beginning. She brought out a Tremblr and amped things up. She slid the sheath attachment over my cock and attached it to the slider that sat in front of my crotch. Hooking up the vacuum pump and turning it on, the sheath slid up and down on the rail, hands-free. She stood back and admired her work. The drool flowed.

Removing the deep throat trainer, she attached a latex face restraint to the rail over my head and slid it back, pinning my head to the neck bolster that prevented me from moving. As the rubber mesh pressed into my face, I felt whatever freedom I had remaining slip away. She then attached another fuck machine to the rail and adjusted it so that my mouth would be penetrated by the rubber cock she had attached to the machine.

Once she was satisfied, she activated the machine and forced me to perform a blowjob. In and out it went, pressing back into my throat, forcing my lips apart and leaving no doubt as to what I had become. My ass stuffed and throat penetrated by machines, I had been reduced to a rubber fuck object. 

After what seemed like hours of torment, she had decided that it was time to conclude the scene. Taking the Hitachi, she vibed my cock and edged me for an eternity. I begged to be allowed to cum and she eventually granted me permission. I felt the orgasm building and focused on the rubber cocks penetrating my mouth and ass and came hard and long. 

She removed my nipple clamps and left me there, panting and dripping. I was eventually released and we cleaned up. 

This was one of the most incredible sexual and kink scenes of my life and I am so grateful for the experience. Anna Rose is a legend, and her skill and equipment is only outmatched by how warm and fun she is. Her facility is absolutely world class and is operated by an elite Dominatrix. 

10/10 can recommend. Life is good, my friends. 

Make sure to watch for the clip on fetishclinic.com in the coming days! 

Consent is non-negotiable in BDSM play

There was a time in my life when I thought that the process of obtaining consent in a BDSM scene meant that I wouldn’t be able to have as much fun. I thought that negotiating a scene and talking about what I wanted to do and what the other person wanted to do was somehow removing the spontaneity of the interaction. I wanted to surprise my play partner with the many demented and perverted ideas I had decided on acting out for the scene. 

This attitude, of course, was full of pitfalls and opened the door wide for a potential violation of any consent I was given, and I unfortunately learned after one session that I had done just that. I found out about it a couple weeks later when she explained to me how uncomfortable she had felt during a part of the evening. I was completely shocked and horrified and spent the next couple years feeling absolutely sick about it. I eventually forgave myself and had decided right after it happened to never, ever allow something like that to happen again. 

So what of this idea that negotiating and consent is somehow taking away from some undefinable magic of a BDSM session? Even if you feel this way (and I intend to argue against why you should), it doesn’t matter. Regardless of how you feel, the person you are playing with needs to know the kinds of things that you, as the top, want to do. They need to know these things so they can tell you in advance if something is a trigger, or too scary, or beyond the scope of their limits. The mistake I made was thinking that this conversation took something away from the eventual performance, like peeking behind the curtain at a play. But it doesn’t have to be.

I liken the negotiation and gaining of consent before a BDSM scene to a server in a restaurant describing to you the various dishes in a chef’s plate meal. You are fully aware of what is coming, and can let the server know right away if there is something that you might find distasteful, or even if something might trigger an allergy. But does this in any way make the food less delicious? Of course not. There is still so much opportunity for mystery and surprise when you get the food. You know the type of dish and the ingredients, but how the chef (or in our case, the top) decides to combine these elements into something wonderful is totally an example of their talent and art in action. 

Plus, talking about the things you want to do or experience with each other before a session can be super fucking hot. It’s a form of foreplay, and a way to get the creative juices flowing. Often times the bottom will have ideas of their own to enhance the top’s plan or even surprise the top with wanting to take something even further. You’ll never know until you talk about it. 

Now, the people out there who intentionally violate consent or totally disregard its importance are just plain assholes. Or even worse, they are harmful. Mistakes happen and sometimes lines get crossed, and I think we should all try to cut someone some slack for something that was not intended (if there is clear remorse and an apology) but even this has its limits. Some infractions go too far, and ultimately it doesn’t matter how sorry someone is if they clearly violated someone’s consent and harm was done.

So, just get it into your head that negotiation and consent is absolutely mandatory and that you cannot play without it. Even people who have played together for years sometimes fuck up. Just because you think you know each other well, you can never assume that you can disregard proper negotiation. People change, limits change, nothing stays the same forever. 

So, become – and stay – safe, sane and consensual. And keep it sexy. 

What is a gimp?

A gimp can best be described as a sexual submissive who is dressed in a rubber or leather suit that covers the entire body, including the hands and head. Harnesses, gags, posture collars and other restrictive gear is often used to further objectify and subdue the gimp for its Mistress or Master.

A convenient phrase to understand the role of the gimp in BDSM is that all gimps are submissive, but not all submissives are gimps.

Gimps exist as servants, playthings and recipients of torment for their Dominant and must adhere to the 5 S's of Gimpitude:

1. Service - Gimps should always be of service and provide utility to their Dominant 
2. Suffering - Gimps are born to suffer and should offer their pain and discomfort to their Dominant as a gift to the Divine
3. Silence - Gimps should remain quiet unless their Dominant requires them to speak (a gag is often used to prevent noisy gimps from being heard)
4. Storage - When not in use, gimps are often stored away in a cage or box until it is time to "bring out the gimp" (immortalized in the classic scene from the movie Pulp Fiction)
5. Sex Toy - A gimp should always be prepared to be used as a sex toy – all gimp orifices are simply holes to be filled by the Dominant in whatever manner He or She chooses*

Gimps often have a sexual fetish for latex or leather, which helps the gimp to endure the discomfort and restriction of being in the gimp suit, but this fetish is not a requirement to be a gimp. It just makes it more exciting for the wearer.

Being a gimp is the most strenuous, physically-demanding submissive BDSM role that someone can experience, and the capacity to endure sweat, bondage, penetration, sensory-deprivation, physical labour, being used as furniture, and pain are attributes that make the top gimps renowned for their abilities.

A true gimp must not only embody all of the typical attributes of a sexual submissive, but must also do it with a strict code of dress, absolute obedience to their Dominant, and live a lifestyle that perpetuates its role in a D/s relationship. A gimp cannot exist without an Owner, just as a Dominant cannot exist without property. Well, they can, but it's like being called an actor without ever starring in a film or television show.

Being a gimp isn't about an occasional play scene with some latex or leather. True dedication must be shown in and out of the suit. The true gimp must learn how to make its own clothes, fashion its own gear, constantly work to perfect the bondage that it is to be put in, all with the advice and consent of its Dominant. The gimp must be prepared to heed Her or His call, be willing to push itself past its own limits, and always put its Dominant first. The gimp is an object, a possession, and is constantly reminded of this fact. It is led around on a leash, a sign that it is not free. 

The gimp's proper place is on its knees and at its Dominant's feet, completely attentive to Her or Him, ready to receive a command, or capable of kneeling there in place for hours while its Dominant occupies Her or His self or admires the well-behaved rubber creature in front of them. 

For the gimp, there is no better place to be. 

For more on this topic, and to sign up to a growing community of sexual submissives who identify as gimps, check out G.I.M.P. (Guardians of International Masochism and Perversion) at gimp.community  

*Proper negotiation and consent should always be obtained in all BDSM play, whether it involves being a gimp or otherwise. Play should be safe, sane and consensual and only performed by willing, capable participants of sound mind and body and of legal age of consent.

Thoughts on enforced chastity

Recently I was informed that I was to wear a chastity cage for the indefinite future. The conditions provided by my Owner were thus:

Chastity device should be worn daily and proof of pictures with stamped date and time are required at any moments notice. A key should be given to Mistress at the next meeting. When time are needed to unlock the chastity device, for health purposes, cleaning and unforeseen situations, a detailed text message should be sent. For any other reasons, permission is required. 

This was not the first time that I have been put into a chastity cage, but it has been some months since the last period of lockup. I have been "free" since the beginning of October 2021 (after almost of a year of permanent 24/7 chastity, it was deemed "Unlocktober" for me and I was released, and due to other circumstances I never went back in...until now).

I have been wearing the cage for five days now and I will be handing my Mistress the key tomorrow (which I will discuss furter below). The spare key will be secured inside a metal safety cylinder with a numbered cable lock to prevent cheating. Once the key is handed over to Her, my cock - correction, Her cock – will once again be trapped in a steel cage with no escape. 

I am wearing an excellent example of perverted engineering, the Rigid Chastity Model 05 Modular cage w/ PA hook. Made in Poland, it is extremely comfortable and safe, and is an incredible value for the money (compared to other much more expensive North American devices). Their customer service leaves a lot to be desired, and there are many threads on chastitymansion.com complaining about the opaque communication and painfully slow delivery times. However, they eventually deliver and the quality is top notch. Absolutely no complaints. The PA hook which prevents pull-out is absolutely ingenious and makes removing the cage totally impossible without the key or by destroying the cage (which would be a shame, to say the least). In my opinion, any chastity cage meant for strict control is absolutely pointless without a PA piercing and security solution. Without a PA, one can just pull the penis out of the top of the cage when flaccid and masturbate or whatever the slave wants. It can be fun for light play and good if the slave is unable to touch the cage, but for 24/7 unsupervised arrangements, it is amateurish at best.

After I got my Prince Albert piercing in November of 2019 (a procedure that was filmed and posted on Twitter and, at last view, had received 9.3M views...yes, that's million), I stretched from a 10 gauge, to an 8 gauge, and finally a 6 gauge captive bead piercing over a period of about 10 months. Then, in September 2020, I was locked into the cage by my mistress at the time. It would not come off for another seven months. I was given a three-week reprieve, and was locked back in again for five more months. This took me to the Unlocktober freeing mentioned above.

It's quite an experience to not have the ability to touch your own body parts, least of all your privates, and the discomfort every time I get an erection is something that definitely takes getting used to. It is the worst at night, when uncontrolled (and previously unnoticed) nocturnal erections start waking you up in mid-slumber. Experience teaches you how to mentally talk yourself down (literally) and then roll over and go back to sleep (or get up to take a pee). I am usually only woken up once per night, and after a few weeks of wearing a cage I can usually sleep straight through until the morning. When I was first locked in the cage at the very start, I woke up 2-3 times per night. But eventually I got used to it.

During the day, I only notice the cage when I become aroused, or when I need to pee. I have to sit to urinate as the direction of my pee is uncontrollable and I would end up spraying all over the place. Some cages have a urethral insert for better aim but those are not sanitary enough for long-term wear. 

I am fastidiously clean when the cage is on and, unlike many wearers, do not need to remove it for cleaning. I have a system where I scrub the inside of the tube with a tiny, soapy toothbrush while in the shower, and use a chopstick to pull the penis away from the edges to allow water in to rinse. I am able to shave my genitals with the cage on and prefer to be clean in this way for aesthetic reasons. It always smells nice and I have never had an issue with unpleasantness while caged.

The sensation of an erection in a chastity cage is a combination of frustration, discomfort and arousal. The pressure of the penis engorged with blood straining against the confines of the cage is intense at times, with the feeling that one's testicles are going to get pulled off by the ball catcher ring around the scrotum. 

Each pulse of blood and every attempt to pull off the cage (a totally futile activity), is a reminder of being owned, of being trapped and imprisoned inside a jail containing the one thing that makes you a man. When a Mistress puts a cage on Her submissive's cock, She has declared much more than Her control over his mind and body. She has staked Her claim on his sexuality itself. And once you control a man's sexuality, you control everything. 

For a submissive male, this feeling of being owned can be intoxicating. For a true bondage fanatic, it is the next best thing to being bound 24/7. The cage is a reminder that someone else controls their sexual life, and only She decides how and when he feels pleasure, or if he feels anything at all. 

They say that you don't really miss something until it is gone, and the first time your cock is taken away by your Mistress, it's something you don't easily forget.

A locked-up male who is dependent on his Mistress for release is a very well-behaved, docile, obedient creature. He is helpless against this power and, if She is a true Dominant, his subservience in this regard is a drug that never abates.

I don't know how long I will be kept in the cage, or whether it will ever come off. It is in my Mistress' hands and is Her decision. There are likely going to be periods when I need to remove it for safety or sanitary reasons, and She may remove it for humanitarian or merciful reasons (or just to play with Her toy). 

Only time will tell.

Until then, I remain securely locked and under Her control, which is the best place a submissive can be. 

On jealousy

I have never been a "jealous" person when it comes to relationships. When I hear people use the term it usually refers to someone feeling bent out of shape when someone they are connected to emotionally (usually romantically but sometimes platonically) is seen to be receiving the attention of someone else. The connection can be current, or a remnant of a previous, but still smouldering, relationship.

One has to remind oneself that jealousy is an emotion. And like all emotions, it is not rational. In other words, it is not an intellectual realization that can be thought away so easily. When someone feels jealousy, they are being informed by a very primitive and basic part of their brain that undoubtedly served an important purpose in our evolution.

It's important to recognize possessiveness when talking about jealousy in the context of relationships. Jealousy and possession are co-pilots. When you see, for example, your current or ex-girlfriend having a nice (even flirty) conversation with someone else (maybe a potential suitor in your mind), your amygdala goes on alert and you prepare to fight. But what are you fighting for? In the most basic sense, you are fighting for someone who you must feel you have some ownership over. Right? Whether or not you actually believe this in the moment, that is what is happening. As we evolved and took mates, it was beneficial to ward or fight off other individuals who could be competition for your sperm or egg. It made evolutionary sense. But humans have the capacity to move on from this base instinct, and we need to dig deeper into where it comes from to get through the fog of jealous emotions.

When one steps back and considers a feeling of jealousy, and connects it with the instinct of possessing a mate, it becomes very clear that this is a false belief. No one can possess another person, at least not legally in all civilized societies. Of course, in the world of D/s, "owning" a slave or submissive is a very common reality, but is part of the fantasy of the power exchange. A girlfriend, or wife, or close friend, is not something you can ever own. They are their own person, a free agent, who can do whatever they want.

So if we continue on with the characterization of a jealous response as a threat to one's perceived ownership over another, we have to think about why the threat is perceived. Why is it a threat? Anyone you perceive as a threat is obviously someone who possesses the same or better qualities as you, right? Otherwise why would you be worried? A jealous person is reacting emotionally to the idea that the competition will take their possession away. And if we go even further, I would argue that the feeling of a threat is based on a feeling of inadequacy, which goes straight to a lack of self esteem.

Think about it. If you believed that you were not inadequate, you would not perceive the other suitor as a threat at all. What possible concern could you have if you knew that your qualities were not something anyone else could possess in the way you possess them?

So now that we see that jealousy has nothing to do with anyone else but ourselves, we need to examine our self esteem, think hard about what makes us worthy and unique, and start to build ourselves up in our minds and realize that we are all amazing in our own way and that no one could possibly compete with us.

Careful, though, don't let this go to your head. You can be self-confident and humble at the same time. Self-confidence minus humility equals arrogance. And no one likes that.

We've only been talking about jealousy and monogamous relationships to this point, but what happens when we add multiple intimate partners to the mix? Sounds like pouring gasoline on a fire, doesn't it? Unless you have your jealous instincts sorted out, it's a recipe for disaster. And even the most experienced, self-aware, psychologically sound people in poly relationships sometimes get jealous. But they know that this instinct is just that, an irrational emotion based on primitive parts of our brain getting activated. The solution is to identify the emotion, let it in, think about where it comes from and then allow yourself to realize that there is no reason for it. A calm, adult conversation about it usually follows, with perhaps some boundaries set. But there is at least the acknowledgement of something that is not quite right.

I am in a relationship right now (my marriage to my wife of 13 years) where we both have other partners. Her relationship with her other partner is hers and hers alone. It has nothing to do with me. I respect her connection with this man and she respects our marriage and our personal relationship to each other and the family unit. I, too, have had multiple partners, mostly kinky play, and she respects these arrangements for what they are. No one could ever come close to her in my mind in terms of a life partner.

I have also been a submissive in a D/s relationship where there were other slaves in the Domme's domain (harem?). I knew my place and knew that none of the other submissives could ever possibly "replace" me. How could they? I am unique. But so are they. It goes both ways. The attention I received from my mistress was the attention she felt she needed to give me. And if I didn't feel like the amount or quality of attention I received was adequate for my needs, I had the ability to express my feelings and leave the relationship if there was no middle ground

Before concluding, I think it's important to make the distinction between envy and jealousy, as they are different things in my mind. Jealousy is an irrational emotion, whereas envy is more of an intellectual realization of someone else's situation that you would very much like to be in. I experience envy all the time, and am usually successful in focusing instead on the blessings in my life, but also with the knowledge that how you perceive someone else's situation is rarely their reality. That billionaire on the mega yacht might not have a single loving, nurturing relationship in his life and could be on the verge of a mental breakdown from the insane lifestyle he is leading. Who knows?

So if you find yourself feeling jealous, turn your attention away from the people involved and look inward. Ask yourself why you feel this way and what you could do to increase your self esteem. Maybe it's stopping something that makes you hate yourself? Start there and be gentle with your mind and heart. Once you realize that you are enough, and do not need to compete, you will become so much happier and will have the capacity to love more openly, freely and unconditionally.

You can do it.

My first BDSM experience

 When I think of my first BDSM experience, I recall that it when I was in my early 20s (some time ago now). I was working for a company in Alberta installing satellite television systems and met a girl through the girlfriend of one of my co-workers. She was a little rough around the edges, but she was sweet. We went on a few dates and hung around at the bar shooting pool with friends I had just met. 

I can't recall when or how I broached the subject of wanting to be tied up, but it must have gone over well, as I found myself experiencing it shortly before I moved back home to start university in BC. 

I remember lying on my back on the floor, with my arms over my head, and her tying my hands together to one of the legs. She had stuffed my mouth with her panties and gagged me with a bandana. I remember clearly looking at her above me as she lay on the bed gazing at her prey. It was hot. I don't remember how long I was kept like that but I am pretty sure she gave me a blowjob or handjob or something. I had dreamt of being tied up by a women for a long time and had experimented by myself since I was a teen, but this was the first time I had experience it by someone else's hand.

I didn't stick around town for much longer and I remember her being very upset and sad when I told her I was leaving. I had no desire to continue a relationship with her and back in those days you just either got someone's phone number or that was it. I'll always cherish that first memory though, as it affirmed for me that this was a pastime I was definitely interested in.

I wonder how she would remember that experience? If she explored bondage with other partners? Who can say, as I can only remember her first name: Trisha.

My next serious girlfriend who I fell deeply in love with didn't have the same interest and found latex completely bizarre and weird (in a bad way). We lasted three years before finally deciding it was not to be. My heart broken, I vowed never to become seriously involved with someone who wasn't kinky in some way. If you were going to be with me, it meant that you needed to not necessarily share my kinks, but at least be curious about them and be open to exploring. Now look at me. I am living the dream, truly.

Young women, please pay attention...

I had a bizarre and troubling experience today. I was driving down the street and realized that I had forgotten to send an important email, so I saw an opening on the side of the road and pulled in to compose it safely. I saw that there was a young woman in her 20s standing there looking at her phone. 

As soon as I pulled up the curb and put the car in park, she walked up to my car and opened the back door and prepared to get in!

I immediately said, without hesitation, "Oh sorry, this isn't an Uber!" and laughed nervously. She was aghast and apologized profusely and stepped back. Not 15 seconds later another vehicle pulled in behind and she got in and went in her way. One presumes that this was her ride-share.

Besides the hilarity and startling nature of the experience, I was incredulous at the carelessness and trusting nature of this young woman. She just decided to get into the back of a total stranger's car without even knowing who was driving or whether it was the ride she was waiting for.

I wanted to find her and explain that, when you take an Uber, or Lyft, or whatever ride-sharing service you have chosen, you are getting into the personal car of a total stranger. You are not taking public transit, you are not getting into a taxi...you are stepping into a stranger's private vehicle. You need to check the license plate, check the make and model, confirm the name of the driver, and only then make the choice to get into the car.

Ladies, please, this is how you get hurt. This level of carelessness and blind trust is how so many women find themselves in terrible, harmful situations. It's not a good thought, I know, and I wish it were not so. But my god, you need to take better care. I feel good that this young woman was clearly oblivious to her potential risk likely due to the fact that she had no previous experience that would have made her suspicious and cautious. 

Thank the gods that she got into my car, the vehicle of someone who has no ill intentions and wants everyone to just be safe from harm.

It could have been worse. Much worse.