Wednesday, April 13, 2022

The Myth of the "Lucky" Slave

“He is so lucky.”

This comment on a photo or video happens a lot. It’s usually the reaction to a photo or video of a slave/gimp/submissive being played with by a beautiful Domme.

You know the story. The sentiment behind the comment is likely heartfelt and genuine (and often envious), but the words used may not truly capture the reason that the slave is in the position he is in.

Was it truly luck? Did he win a lottery? Did he just happen to be walking past a dungeon, the Domme also just happening to be outside looking for kinky passers-by who would be willing to star in a fetish clip?

I think you know the answer. Sure, maybe this totally random situation has happened before, but it stands about the same chance of happening as a broken coffee cup spontaneously re-assembling itself, having just been smashed to smithereens on a tile floor.

So if it is not luck that finds the slave in that situation, what is it? What seemingly magical forces have acted upon this individual to place him in this highly-coveted position?

Let me count the ways. But first, let’s quickly examine the nature of the world and how much of a factor luck plays. Of course, luck as a factor depends on your culture. In Chinese culture, for example, luck plays a huge part in daily life, and there are many ways in which the Chinese go out of their way to ward off bad luck and encourage good luck. You might dismiss this as superstition, but that’s just your point of view.

There are some that define luck as being the result of opportunity meeting preparation. In other words, luck is not some random chance event that comes out of nowhere – which is not to say that random chance is never a factor. Rather, luck in this case is the confluence of an active effort to enable a certain result and the patient waiting for the right opportunity to come along.

Does simply preparing for a positive life event manifest that reality? Again, that depends on your world view. Some people are convinced that you can manifest your destiny simply by imagining your future and waiting long enough for it to come to pass. If you have ever heard someone say “Be careful what you wish for,” you can pretty much be guaranteed that this person falls into that camp to some degree.

So, luck is clearly something different for everyone and there is no right or wrong definition. Shit happens no matter what you believe. But I have yet to see a slave in an enviable situation that was a result of random chance or just “plain luck.” Is the slave fortunate? That is to say, is he living a life that is blessed? A life coveted by others who like doing what he does? Absolutely. But even then, fortune is something you pursue and enable. Further, I would even say that being a fortunate person is a state of being that acknowledges the good things over the bad. In this way, feeling or being fortunate is mostly a matter of perspective.

But back to the “lucky” slave. How did he get there? I am generalizing of course, but you can pretty much bet that a number of factors that had nothing whatsoever to do with luck led to the situation he is in. There are steps he likely took, and that others can too, in order to manifest this destiny. Read on.

The first step is being an active player or participant in the BDSM or fetish scene. Participating on Twitter and interacting with other kinksters, joining message boards, starting an Instagram and/or FetLife account, posting photos of play, all of these activities go a long way in creating a persona that demonstrates your commitment to the lifestyle and lends some insight into your personality, desires and fetishes. You won’t be some random dude with zero information about you or your personality. If you were at a fetish event, a polite introduction to a Domme who impressed you was never a bad idea. The offer to buy Her a drink, a friendly bit of conversation, a compliment (or ten) – these things went a long way…and always will. Being a hermit is counter-productive to getting yourself into situations that you look at with envy. Get out there. Be a positive force. Hell, even try to contribute art or entertain others. It all helps.

The second factor is the willingness to be in that situation. Sounds obvious, but this is not the same as just wanting to be in the situation. The slave in the video not only wanted it, but made it clear to the Domme(s) in the photo or video that he was willing to participate in a real way (and in a way that benefited the Domme). Once this willingness was communicated, and the nature of the arrangement was agreed upon (a session in exchange for being the victim, a paid session, personal play, etc.), the rest was up to the Domme. But at least the ball-gag was in Her court.

Third, taking care of your body and mind is a massive indicator of a sane, fun, useful slave. You don’t have to become a health fanatic, and you don’t even need to be slim. But you need to look presentable, smell good, be capable of enduring physical hardship and not act like a dufus when the time comes. Nervousness is allowed, and can be quite endearing, but if you stink and dress shabbily and come across as a creep then you are not even going to get past hello. Work on yourself. Do it for YOU. The payoffs will come in ways you never expected.

Fourth, and by the Goddesses this is probably the most important, be PATIENT. Don’t expect things to happen overnight. It may take years or decades of play and participating in the lifestyle to find yourself living your best kink life. But then the moment might come that changes everything. You might be playing at an event and catch the eye of your future Mistress. So straighten that back, cast those eyes down, and exude submission and pride.

Finally, just like in ANY relationship, the more dedicated and devoted you are, the better chance you will have in getting what you want or need. You must always be conscious of the needs of your Domme and dedicate yourself to Her with as much energy as you can. She is your Goddess, your Alpha, a Supreme Being. She must be treated like a deity and obeyed like a Queen. You must learn what She likes and anticipate Her desires. You must always be willing to suffer for Her and trust that She knows what is best for you. You must be Her ally and a true friend. Remember: the best attract the best.

To summarize:

  • Be visible
  • Be willing
  • Be capable
  • Be patient
  • Be devoted

Will doing all of these things make you become that “lucky” slave in the video? There are no guarantees. But you can pretty much bet your life savings that the slave in the video or photo didn’t rely on mere luck to get where he found himself.

Becoming a prized personal slave is work. It takes time. It requires humility. It demands resolve. It rewards dedication.

If you ask me, it’s one of the greatest experiences in the world.

So go out there and make your own luck. It’s the best hedge against never experiencing your dreams.

To quote The Oracle in The Matrix, “You’re in control of your own life, remember?”


This originally appeared in Fetish Dynasty Magazine Issue 5 (released on July 4, 2021). Read the whole magazine for FREE by visiting

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